Are you a Christian who for whatever reason find yourself without fellowship with other Jesus loving, bible believing Christians? Are you a Christian who was perhaps spiritually used and abused in the organized church system? Or did you leave because of false brethren or teachings you encountered in the Institutional church? Or, maybe you were either driven out by persecution, or even brought out by the Lord Jesus Himself as some of us have been? Well, join the ranks…there are many of us who have gone through various and yet similar circumstances and find ourselves isolated from fellowship with other believers, and/or the church system. Take heart and be encouraged because you are not alone.
If we have walked out, or been driven out of the church doors of the organized church, they tend to look at us this way, that we have become disobedient rebels or we would not have left their assemblies:
“Children, it is the last hour; and just as you heard that antichrist is coming, even now many antichrists have appeared; from this we know that it is the last hour. 19They went out from us, but they were not really of us; for if they had been of us, they would have remained with us; but they went out, so that it would be shown that they all are not of us.”
The Institutional church tends to believe that you must “go to church” with them or else you are not a “real” Christian. Friends that mindset is typical of what church folk have been taught, but very well may be upside down from the truth, and quite opposite from what they believe and say. For example, it may be the organized church that departed from the Lord’s remnant believers, or at least a majority of them. Think about it!
In any case, I want to bless and encourage you to continue in the faith and keep seeking the Lord Jesus Christ with all your heart. He has not left you by any means. He wants you to trust Him in all things. I know you will be blessed and encouraged by watching and listening to the video I posted. I was 🙂 For you see, I have been “isolated” too, if you want to call it that….I simply think of myself as being “set apart” with Him for His purposes, not “isolated” in that sense or alone, and for possibly just a season. Who knows? I’m just trusting Him with my life daily. You can do the same. He knows all about it and how to work things out in His time and in His way.
Even in the early church there was spiritual abuse, crimes committed by those who lorded over the flock, demanding that the Lord’s flock listen to them and them alone.
In Christendom today, whether in organized religious gatherings, churches, WordPress, Facebook, Christian TV, etc., we pretty much see the same thing going on in regard to these various and sundry “teachers and preachers, et al”, and whether they are willing to come right out and admit it or not, usually believe that they only have the word of truth.
“Galatians who lived through those confusing times, would have heard different voices saying: “Follow me. No, follow me! believe and do what I tell you! No! believe and do what I tell you!”… While those very voices would have been those of this church leader over here, and of that other church leader over there. Or of this teacher over here, or of that teacher over there. And that is why Paul was asked to intervene by writing and then by going back to the Churches in Galatia”.
Something is wrong with this picture brethren. What is wrong with Christians that they must run to a man to teach them the things of God? Or, that they, having itching ears, have a desire to heap together many such teachers, and are then blown about by every wind of doctrine in total confusion, like silly women, learning, learning, and never coming to a knowledge of the truth. This is confusion, and we know that confusion is not of God.
Christians surely must know by the sacred scriptures that the Lord has given us all things freely, that pertain to life and godliness. We have not been left as orphans, but Jesus has sent the Holy Spirit; He has sent His Word to instruct us.
Be not led about by any man, but turn to Jesus, not second hand, and perhaps very deceptive scriptural information. Turn to studying His Word. Be His disciple. Be led by His Spirit. And then you may come to know the truth that sets you free. Not by following man, and His doctrine. Make sure that you are following Jesus Doctrine.
This is how we keep from being spiritually abused by others.
Spiritual abuse hurts! If you feel you are in a church, or fellowship setting, and have or are being spiritually abused…..Just leave! Just get out. The sooner or better. The Lord does not want his people to be controlled, manipulated or otherwise abused.
Just because it bears the name “church”, does not mean it’s safe. Sometimes churches can be the most dangerous place to be, and should offer disclosure statements or a label such as “Attending this church could be harmful to your spiritual health”.
Well, at least it’s been the “Churches dirty little secret” until the advent of the Internet when people like this woman “Brittany”, began gathering courage and coming forward with their stories of being abused in the organized church. Now, praise God, we are finding other blogs and websites devoted to exposing this horrible cancer of spiritual abuse that has existed inside the organized church, and helping people to receive comfort, fellowship and healing from Jesus and one another.
“Back in the day”, many of us, like me, for example, felt like we were the only ones who had ever gone through being betrayed and abused by the church, and didn’t know where to go or what to do. I thank Jesus He has made provision, through other believers online, and that is where I found answers and spiritual fortification after coming out of the Nicolaitan Institutional church.
However, I am aware there are some church folks that would like to cover up and keep their dirty laundry in the closet rather than cleaning up their acts and doing right, smugly inviting innocent people to come into their church version of Hotel California. Then, there are others who’ve contacted me recently who passively-aggressively suggest that I am using this blog to vent my own unresolved spiritual abuse issues. Whatever! They don’t know my heart! Nothing could be farther from the truth. The fact is, that I have been betrayed, used and abused, by church people in and out of church just about every which way you can! I shouldn’t be surprised by now that the enemy can even use those who come to you as Christians. I’m getting older and wiser because of these “learning experiences” but I have to admit I’m getting more than a little tired of it. The time is short and I don’t have time for game playing.
When the Lord turns the light on and you then find the wolves in sheep’s duds attacking you, (which they will when the evil spirits in them begin detecting the light in you), and so the Spirit leads you out…you want to do everything you can to reach out to the hurting and disenfranchised. This is the main reason for this blog, and for those like Brittany, below. And also to inform these abusive churches, their game is up. And for the garden variety church goer that seems to believe that spiritual abuse doesn’t exist, or isn’t important…. that the Lord will take their blinders off to the terrible crisis that exists in the modern mainstream organized church, as well as in the little para church groups scattered all over the US, Canada and the Western cultures. It does exist, and it’s dirt ugly!
The following is “Brittany’s Story”. If you have a personal story, you are welcome to tell it here. It is very healing and cathartic to journal or talk about the spiritual abuse we’ve gone through whether it was in the home, the church or both.
” Hi there!
My name is “Brittany” and I stumbled across your blog quite by accident but I am glad I did. I have a story to share with you and your readers. I am keeping this post anonymous and have changed my name because I am afraid of being discovered with my story.
For seven years I was an active member of a small non-denominational church in the Northern United States. While I noticed some controlling behavior, it didn’t bother me because I came from a broken home and loved the idea of being accepted into a family. Aside from Sunday services, I also went to church meetings and functions throughout the week and I was well liked within the congregation. One summer, I was offered a chance to be a missionary to Haiti with an outside church group. I jumped at the chance and my church family seemed to be behind me as it was a longtime dream. The only real trouble I noticed was that my church leaders seemed to have much more communication with the people I was travelling to Haiti with than I did. I also found that they were warning this group that I was ‘immature’. (I am a professional adult with a good, stable life and they had nothing to base their accusations).
I went to Haiti and felt VERY controlled by the group that I was with. I told my home church about what was going on and they urged me to come home, so I did. When I got home, they were eager to pick me up and get me feeling better. Unfortunately, all I wanted to do was be alone and process things. They did not like that. I noticed things started to get really tense with my church. They stopped inviting me to functions and started to hold their gatherings in secret. I was promised to be included on certain activities but then they held them without me. People started blocking me from their phones and once great friends would no longer speak to me. Saddened and confused, I asked the pastor to arrange a meeting with myself and one of my church friends to get to the bottom of this excommunication. He agreed and I was relieved that this was all going to be settled. I arrived at the meeting expecting things to be worked out–but instead I was verbally assaulted and abused. Vile, horrible untruths were spoken about me; the pastor pointed his finger at me and spewed so much unholy anger. We didn’t pray, we didn’t try to reconcile, it was an all-out attack.
I have a medical illness that the church group knew about. When the stress of the situation started to put me in serious medical danger, they laughed at me and ignored my cries for help. I used my cell phone to make calls to people from the church that I knew. No one offered support for me. In fact, in the coming days no one would even confront the pastor about his behavior for fear that he would exile them as well.
During that meeting, several elders walked in unannounced and continued the ambush. I now believe that it was planned.
Aside from the PFA I obtained, there is nothing the police will do to shut this church down because of the separation of church and state laws in the United States. To this day I am haunted by nightmares and I always fear running into a church member when I am out and about. I know that they have tarnished my name in the town where I grew up and attended that church.
I would do just about anything to shut them down so that no one else has to go through what I went through. Physically, it took me 20 months to recover fully from their neglect of my medical condition. Spiritually, I am forever changed. I no longer support organized religion of any sort and have made it a priority to tell my story so that other people do not become spiritually abused.”
Don’t give up! Keep seeking God. The Spirit will lead and guide you to the truth as you persevere. I’m not endorsing the church that made these videos. I am endorcing Jesus and His Word. Seek Him in that!
If you’ve been victimized by an abusive pastor or church, I think you’ll find this article very helpful. From the title you may think I am suggesting just to “move out and move on”. Unfortunately, it’s not that simple. There are those that have told me to “just get over it”, that if I were mature enough in Christ that I should be able to do just that. I feel I have…since the time I left the abusive church, or should I say, the abusive people in those churches, but this article isn’t for me, it’s for others who may still be in bondage in such churches and perhaps confused, hurt, in fear, and unsure about whether to leave or not.
When I left the abusive apostate church I was in, I was literally crushed in my spirit. I felt I had been betrayed by people I thought I could trust. No, let me rephrase that. I had been betrayed.
I was confused and hurting. At that time there was no one I could turn to that would understand. After all, all my friends were in “church”, and wasn’t “church” where you were supposed to meet God, and wasn’t it ordained that one should not forsake the assembling together with the brethren?
I thought to myself, what brethren? They were all locked into the system, and the system I thought I could trust, the one I’d believed in was a sham, corrupt.
God had been good to me since my conversion, or I should say since my baptism in the Spirit. I had grown in the Word, and the LORD had blessed me in so many ways.
It took a lot of disappointments and more growth in the Word before I began to get my eyes opened to the things in the several churches I’ve been devoted to, that just plain were not of God.
It took months to even begin to recover physically and emotionally from the trauma I’d suffered from the years in church. But spiritually, I was devastated, and had to “rethink” my entire belief about “church” and what it was supposed to be scripturally. What I found was that it had no resemlance to the early church…and the way the LORD set it up.
I’ve learned later that many people who leave an abusive church walk away from God altogether and just try to get on with their lives as best they can. But for me, I had some serious issues that I needed to work out spiritually and wasn’t satisfied with walking away from God, because I knew he was real, and my experience was real, and like Peter, I felt, “Where would I go LORD? Only you have the words of truth”.
About that time I had been wishing I had a computer. Then, by the grace of God I received one as a gift. It was then I began searching for what others had experienced and found that the doctrines I’d been taught in the churches I’d attended were wrong….what the LORD had been telling me in my spirit all along.
I also found others like myself who were leaving the apostate organized churches for the same reasons. They weren’t “backslidders”. In fact, they were people who were devoted to God and completely serious in their walk. But they had also eventually seen the abuses and wrong doctrines, and controlling natures of the bird cages they’d been in bondage to.
After you come out of an abusive church or spiritual situation, expect to have some emotional healing to go through. It’s not pleasant to be sure, but it’s normal. You may look at it as a blessing in disguise because once you’re out, you’re no longer being under the control and expectations of others to conform to their ways and doctrines. You will not have the liberty in the Spirit to come to know Jesus according to the Word of God in a personal and living way. The Apostle Paul spent much time alone with the Lord after his Damascus Road experience, learning from Him directly before he ever made contact with the other Apostles and brethren.
This time alone with the Lord, for me, became a time of refreshing, reorganizing my spiritual thoughts…and a time of healing eventually.
In a way, it was the biggest weight off my shoulders I’ve ever felt, even if at the time it felt beyond strange, with Satan laying a guilt trip on me that it was somehow my fault. No, it was not and I’ve come to accept that. For where the Spirit is there is liberty.
And God bless you as you continue your spiritual journey of healing and on to maturity in Christ.
The following is from an e-mail I sent to a sister in the LORD during a conversation we were having about the dangers of Calvinism:
That’s the danger of reading other people’s stuff, it can be so sneaky.
God’s Word is the best, as taught by the Holy Spirit. That’s all I did way back in the very beginning, and you know what? He was always gently provoking me to good works and a closer walk with Jesus. Why bother with the gifts of the Spirit and the fruits of the Spirit at all, or even listening to Him if we are just going to lay back and remain “as is”?
There is a growth in the Spirit, and a greater faith to be attained and built up in the Spirit, and let me tell you it does come by grace accompanied by works of righteousness… and striving to crucify that old carnal flesh nature.
Even Jesus did mighty “works” by the Power of God, which he did in love, and by obedience to the Father. Faith worketh by love.
Abraham could never have committed to that walk up the mountain with Isaac without a lot of mental and spiritual struggle, soul searching and agony of the spirit in putting down his natural carnal human feelings if he hadn’t known for sure God was speaking to him, believing God and trusting in Him. Of course, God never intended to allow him to go through with it, but He demanded the absolute obedience and commitment from Abraham. It was FAITH SHOWN BY WORKS! Amen!
Christians need to stop this nonsense and spiritual deception of believing they can’t stop sinning. That’s why they buy into the Calvinism lie. We have to pray and let the Word of God saturate us with it’s mystery and wisdom. That is a work in itself, to be transformed by renewing our minds by the washing of water with the Word. The pure living Word. By being obedient to Jesus Commandments when He said “Obey My commandments”.and that His Word was Spirit and Life…..That’s pretty Jesus 101, but people want to make it complicated. I guess so they can avoid obeying Him, (or are the listening to the wrong spirit?)
We might start being obedient to that, and to Jesus, instead of reading so many commentaries. There are plenty of places in our lives where we still need to make changes by an act of our own will, if we stop and think about it. I mean…old habits we need to shake off. Like talking too much, instead of listening, as if what WE have to say is so all fired important. Or, maybe by “spiritually” running from house to house, being spiritual busy bodies, not redeeming the time, not devoting ourselves purely to Jesus, and possibly a hundred other things that’s not “loving the Lord our God with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength”. And the list goes on and on, doesn’t it? We need to rebuke OURSELVES for being so spiritually arrogant, and proud, instead of looking at the other guy and judging his sins. Jesus is looking for a bride without spot, wrinkle or blemish, not a bunch of self righteous Pharisees. Or, lazy Christians who refuse to do the work of obey Jesus.
If we love Him, we will OBEY HIM. And His Power, (Grace), will help us to do it. “Flesh and blood will not enter into the Kingdom”. Flesh is going to have to be crucified, and Jesus is not going to do that for us. He commanded us to do it.
I’ve been getting many inquiries from Christian women on the subject of domestic violence in the home. For that reason I will be starting a series on this issue which has been so misunderstood and caused so much pain to so many good Christian women who were endeavoring to both love and honor their husbands, and their Savior through obedience to the Word of God.
We’ll begin with a study of “The Great Ecclesiastical Conspiracy”
Both Christian men as well as women need to study this epic teaching. It is in-YouTube Video form as well. It explains that King James himself had a vested interest in making sure that certain words were put in this translation. Words like”rule” and “submit” were intended to reinforce his headship and control over his kingdom. It’s only when we become aware of the truth that it has the power to set us free from the shackles of legalism. The Lord said, “My people perish for lack of knowledge”. Knowledge of what? God’s Word! Indeed, knowledge is power. Let’s make sure we are armed with the truth so that we will not succumb to the lies and deception. As one of the Lord’s sheep, even though your pastor or husband is bound by man-made doctrines and traditions of men, of legalistic teachings, by studying the truth, prayer and fasting, you will not have to be. Jesus said to those disciples who believed him, “If you will continue in My Word, then you will be my disciple indeed and then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free” Jesus and his pure doctrine supersedes the faulty, unloving notions of men.
“THE GREAT ECCLESIASTICAL CONSPIRACY”
This is HARD!! Many will not be able to hear this at all!
Is it really possible that the Authorized King James Version of the Bible was INTENTIONALLY DOCTORED to reinforce and support a “priest class” and institutional, political hierarchies. The Protestant Reformation didn’t go far enough. It didn’t really eliminate the temple worship and priest class, it just put a nicer face on it.
This explains why things are this bad. It explains why most of this thing we call “Christianity” is in fact, not at ALL what Jesus had in mind. This explains why so many are being abused in a “system” that was NEVER what God designed in the first place.
My Story of an Encounter with an Abusive Christian misogynist: I hadn’t been posting much for quite some time. Looking over the web offerings, I figured there were enough sites to offer help,warning and healing for those who had just come out of spiritually abusive situations, or….were still in one, and looking for answers. I was wrong. Just when you think there is nothing new to add, some new abuse presents its ugly head, or perhaps an old abuse presenting itself in a new and novel way. So…I guess it’s time to fire up the blog once again.
I post quite a few resources offering “other” folks help, warnings, etc…but this time it happened to be me that got spiritually stung and hurt…again. Me, who should know better how to avoid such situations and people. Me, who has had her guard up and warns others about how to avoid snares, spiritual abuse and the pain that goes along with it. So….how and where did it happen? On an Internet voice over chat room called PalTalk. PalTalk has a fabulous potential for interaction with other Christians, but it can also be a very dangerous place, especially for vulnerable believers who have been isolated, and left abusive church fellowships and/or even been rejected by friends for leaving these churches.
What happened was that I had been visiting, with great caution, spiritual radar detector turn on, a few spiritual chat rooms and had begun to meet a few people there I felt fairly comfortable with and that seemed to be mature Christians with a healthy grasp of scripture and sound doctrine. This seemed to be a godsend because I was needing the fellowship with like minded believers…perhaps more than even I recognized at the time. However, Satan, never a day late or a dollar short, recognized it and I now believe I was set up for a hurt. Looking back, thank God it was only a hurt and not something much worse.
I had been listening to a man who seemed to be above average in godly wisdom and experience. A really interesting man as well, who I’d seen in various Christian chat rooms, sometimes speaking, or other times posting comments and scripture. We began to cross paths, and he developed an interest in me. To be frank, I was both flattered and also, a bit in awe of this guy. This was filling a need in me for fellowship after having been isolated for so long after leaving the apostate church. We were on the same page…..or so I thought.
After about a month of meeting in various chat rooms, and also spending long hours in private chat rooms, sharing and talking about God, and our experiences, what we had in common, laughing, and praying, I began to trust this man and let my guard down. Something I haven’t done in a long time, and I’m not sure I realized just how much I opened up to this man at the time.
With male, female relationships in any realm, there is always the issue of dominance, but especially in the spiritual realm of Christianity and God ordained authority. I’m not going to get into the scriptural aspects by posting scripture on here. Most of you reading this blog are already aware of what the bible has to say about it. As for me, I don’t have a problem with allowing men to be men, and the authority figure in spiritual relationships………as long as they don’t abuse it, and in the process, begin to abuse me. I am God’s and he is and always will be my husband and the final authority.
If a person has been spiritually abused they will usually be very guarded about boundaries. With me, this is extremely true. Very guarded, even with women. God has given me a level of discernment through hours of prayer, tears, and experience that I am very grateful for. But experience is very expensive in terms of having gone through situations and learning from them, (as you learn not to stick your hand in the fire after the first time, or take fire to your bosom and expect not to get burned).
With abusers, somehow they have the uncanny ability to avoid being detected at the very beginning of an encounter with their victims. Even when one has developed a level of spiritual discernment, if they have an opening, such as loneliness, or need for fellowship, as I did, they are fair game for a predator to slip through the boundary and get inside where they can do damage.
So, to describe the scenario further, there was no question of a romantic relationship developing, so that seemed to make this friendship safer where I could relax and enjoy this mutual love of God with this man…He was well read in the scriptures, and shared many spiritual experiences that gave me no reason to doubt or be afraid of him. For the most part, I felt safe, and anyway, wasn’t I a safe distance from him in PalTalk. How could this godly man possibly hurt me? But in all relationships, sooner or later, traits will begin manifesting. One of the first “disagreements” I had with this man, was over the issue of misogyny. He was adamant that women were the worse abusers of men, and that men were “just as” or more abused than women. In fact, he was a little too adamant about it…to the point that I might have thought at the time he was a misogynist himself, a closet woman-hater. Little did I know at the time, just how right on my discernment radar was absolutely spot on. But……I chose to ignore it, but the red flag was up.
The saying goes that women have a high level of intuition, and I think there is something to this…..but especially true with spiritfilled women who have spent much time in the scriptures and in prayer. In any case, the red flag was up.
Sooner or later, a persons true colors will manifest, as the scriptures say, “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks”. On PalTalk, for those who aren’t familiar with it, there is a way to talk directly to a person, just like you would talk to them on the phone. Also, there is a way to text little messages to a person, or leave notes for them. So, what happened next between me and my new spiritual friend is this, I’d left a text note for him to read later. The note was a short synopsis of my understanding of “Paul’s thorn in the flesh” and I wanted to make sure we were on the same page. I told him if he agreed with this to just disregard my note. What happened was that he didn’t read or understand what I’d said in my text note, and became irate, accusing me of “being a rebellious woman in the church and one of those women who usurp male authority in the church”, as well as some other accusatory, nasty and overweening remarks aimed directly at me. This floored me, and cut to the quick. I was not only astonished but felt attacked and falsely accused…..which I was.
I have been abused by both women as well as men in the church, but this frankly, was a new experience. I had let my guard down and this woman hating predator got through the door. I sent him a note in text, politely explaining my position and that in no way was I or ever had been a rebellious woman seeking to usurp male authority. He sent back a lame excuse. I began trying to quietly shy away from him. The trust had been broken. However, not satisfied he came back and contacted me again and began criticizing me, telling me what I should think, what I should do, and “to obey”, not exactly explaining whom I should “obey”, but rather indirectly indicating it should be him.
By this time, I am wanting out. And also by this time, his true colors are showing and he is in full attack, wolf mode and begins to rip me up, telling me everything, (in his opinion), that I’ve done wrong, and what is wrong with me, and that I’m not really “walking in the spirit”.
After this last attack, I sent him back a note saying that Jesus would never talk to me, or treat me the way he did, and that I was not going to accept being spiritually abused in this way. After that, apparently he realized he was not going to be able to dominate me or manipulate me, and so sent back a hateful note with more accusations telling me I was not willing to accept “admonition”, (a handy buzz word for handing you your lunch), and then blocked me from further contact with him, as if that were going to be a problem for me. I was grateful it was over. However…there was the aftermath to deal with.
The aftermath was and is the old spiritual wounds this man left in his wake. Old wounds from the past abuse I thought were healed and now have found out they were still lurking under the surface, and this man ripped them open again. Now, I am praying,Jesus, just please come and love me, comfort me, heal me once again. And LORD, I thank you that you revealed to me what was going on, and that I have the right not to obey mean and cruel commands set up by those assuming false authority in your name. Or accept down in my heart false accusations of wrong doing, by those who would make sad those you haven’t made sad. And also, Jesus, I don’t know who or what made this man the way he is, but please convict him, heal him but keep him from hurting anyone else this way”.
Friends, there is a reason for having healthy boundaries in our lives and guarding our inner circle. Please pray for wisdom and discernment in all your relationships. There are spiritual abusers out there who will cut your soul down to the roots if you allow them to. If you see you’ve opened the door to one of these…back out, run away quickly and never forget to ask the Lord Jesus Christ for help and protection. He is our gentle and good shepherd. He is our protection from wolves that wish to rip us to shreds, and He will never do anything to spiritually hurt and wound us.
You Tube Video of So-called “pastor” Edwin Young brow-beating and berating a woman from his bully pulpit. No wonder people are leaving the churches in droves these days. This man exhibits none of the fruits of the Spirit, nor does he bear any resemblance to the Lord Jesus Christ, or his gentle nature and characteristics. He does however more closely resemble the ravening wolves that the Apostle Paul tearfully described that would enter in amongst the Lord’s flock after Paul’s death.
A very godly man, a pastor himself, once told me, “When a wolf preacher gets control of a church, it will always come down to two things in the end, sex and money”. Meaning that when that man feels confident and arrogant enough, he will begin sexually abusing women, girls, or sometimes young boys. I believe it because that very issue has become epidemic in churches all over America in this hour.
This needs to be exposed and stopped by Christians who will stand up and demand accountability in their leaders. The Bible says that judgment must begin first in the household of God. I personally feel it’s God Himself that’s drawing the line on these wolves. In recent days we’ve seen one preacher after another being arrested or kicked out of churches for sexual misconduct among members, including minor children.
One of the things that greatly disturbed me in listening to these videos is the cheering on of the men in the congregation as this fake pastor trash talked the women. And the women, apparently not wanting to labeled “one of those lesbian spirits” would clap and shout too. These people have been brainwashed and groomed to accept mistreatment as well as a false doctrine of legalism and hate.
“Come out from among them, and be not partakers of their sins, or their plagues”
“This is an attempt to give the reader a feel for the preaching style and manner of Edwin Young, ex-pastor of the Faith Tabernacle Apostolic Church in Junction City, Kansas. It is to allow you to hear for yourselves, and not just take our word for some of the things he said and did. Edwin Young resigned amidst scandal and accusations of alleged immorality with a number of younger (of age) women, as well as financial accusations, in early August 2012. (To read about that, click here. To read a compilation of the rules at the church, click here.)
An untold number of people from this church have been hurt in one way or another over the years. People would believe whatever Edwin Young told them about a person or situation. They would stand and cheer him on when he would come down hard on homosexuality or fornication, or when he would tear into a member from the pulpit…and sometimes even a visitor. A number of people who left the church under his pastorate were pegged by him as homosexuals or fornicators, among other things. Members believed what he told them. Those who remained were subject to a number of rules and standards. Members were encouraged to report those they saw breaking any rules and the pastor would follow-up by confronting the offending party, whether the accusations were confirmed or not. This was considered ‘testing the person’s spirit,’ or ‘breaking them.’
Also included are two videos of Jordan Young preaching (son of Edwin Young, who was arrested on alleged sexually related charges with minor boys between 2008 and August 1, 2012) and one of Nathan Dudley, the new pastor of Faith Tabernacle Apostolic Church.
Berating Members During Service
According to numerous reports from people, Edwin Young would periodically berate people from the pulpit during his sermons, as well as privately. Below is an example of this, shown in three videos. Part one shows the context of when it happened and as such, includes part of his sermon before he tears into a female member of the church. Part two is the majority of his rant and part three is the very end where he finally returns to his message. You need to at least watch parts one and two in order to see how he would be. If the audio bothers you too much, turn it off and just watch. We have included the complete transcript of the part where he rants in the videos. It may also be read here.”
Has something similar to this gone on in a church in your city or town? Probably, but since the advent of the Internet, Christians all over America, or for that matter, the world, have been able to connect the dots. Again, I thank God for various blogs that have exposed the previously “best kept secret” of the church….that of spiritual and sexual abuse. I know of one serious instance of sexual molestation of a very young teen boy by the “youth minister” in a church where I live, and in fact, that I used to be a member of. What did the church do? Nothing…. except cover it up. The boy was so traumatized by the molestation, he didn’t “tell” for a long time.
Although a crime/crimes had been committed the church covered it up and allowed the so-called youth minister to continue “ministering” to teen age children, oftentimes picking them up at home and taking them places without parental or church supervision.
Scripture says to remove a hypocrite from the church. The law says to report such crimes. This church played God and took the law in their own hands and did neither, “not wanting to ruin the reputation of the man, or the church”. The single parent was discouraged by church leadership of reporting the crime to the police saying it was a “spiritual issue”.
Although this should have been reported to the police, it wasn’t. So, what did they do for the child?…and make no mistake, a 13 yr old boy IS a child and at a very vulnerable stage of development in his life. No one from the church went to minister to, pray for, or counsel the boy. He was left to struggle with the aftermath of this abuse by himself. I found out about this after the fact, but I knew the boy personally, and know that he desperately needed counseling. He still has trust and other issues to this day because of this molestation.
Also, I am almost positive that another boy of the same age was molested by this same man several years later. I observed this myself when I went back several years later, that this boy was having serious emotional and spiritual issues….. that he acted very strange, as did the youth minister, but again, nothing was done. I asked the boy’s mother if she had questioned her son and asked her if she had asked her son if he had been sexually molested by this man, and she said yes, but that he denied it. However, denial by a victim is not all that unusual in some cases.
So, what happened to the molester? He died suddenly and prematurely. God has a way of taking care of situations where someone has harmed one of his little ones. As for the church…it is not doing well or prospering, not surprisingly, but continues to pretend “to do the work of the Lord” and inviting the unsuspecting into its fellowship.
About another church in the same general area…this is a bit of pretty accurate hearsay, but the church grapevine indicated a 9 month pentecostal “revival” conducted by a traveling evangelist abruptly ended due to a “sexual incident” with a 15 yr old girl. This was after he had been conducting “deliverance and casting out sessions” in the back room of the church. One young woman I knew to be a fine Christian suffered a nervous breakdown, and landed up in the psyche ward of a local hospital after a suicide attempt, and has now quit her job due to being unable to work, and is on medication. And apparently, the traveling evangelist traveled on to molest some girl, and/or, spiritually harm someone else in another church down the line.
I am a Christian but I can tell you that I am disgusted by the way many churches cover up incidents of spiritual and sexual abuse by church members or church leadership, and I will not be party to such spiritual or legal crimes by participating in such churches, or ministries, I don’t care whether they operate behind the closed doors of a church building or from behind their laptops on the Internet. And neither should anyone else. No church is above the law, and no church is above the law of God making themselves a law unto themselves. And neither is any so-called “online ministry”.
Although it’s illegal to issue a disclosure statement hiding facts about known issues in a real estate contract, churches have continued to cover up and abuse with impunity. The same can be said about many online ministries which operate in an entirely different realm than local church communities, and have become virtually untouchable, with very little or no accountability to anyone.
As for churches in general…
Meanwhile, people from these two churches I mentioned continue inviting people to “go to churrrrch” with them. I personally think they should hand out disclosure statements, ( similar to those that must be issued when one puts a house on the market for sale, listing all the potential problems and issues not apparent upon surface examination)… stating they allow molestation in their churches and commit spiritual abuse in general. When churches invite the unsaved or morally unregenerate into their churches, they’ve already gone against scripture. The Lord’s church is supposed to be the Body of Christ, not a haven for perverts and wicked people. If they want to do an outreach, then keep it separate from the church assembly and keep a close watch on the kids. The next child to be molested could be yours.
As for so-called “online ministries and fellowships”…...
What do you actually know about these people? Have you looked them in the eye, face to face? Would you enter into a serious business deal with someone you’ve never personally met, no matter how good the deal looked on the surface? And yet, they are asking money from you, by virtue of their PayPal or donation page?
I’ll say it again, as I have on other posts, preaching or teaching is a calling, not a business.
As for me………
I’ve experienced spiritual abuse and witnessed it damaging other people. I’m not out there with a “ministry”, teaching doctrine. I am what I am, not a perfect vessel, but willing to be made into what God desires me to be. I use this blog to warn people about things I consider to be very important. But one thing I do not do, and that’s put up a Pal Pal acct, or donation page asking money from people for what I do here that I have freely received from the LORD.
I’m just saying…the choices are up to each person, and not me, God, or anyone else is going to force anyone to do anything against their own will.
Many people wouldn’t be reading here if they hadn’t been abused in some fashion. Those who’ve never been abused, or abusers themselves- wouldn’t know what it felt like, unless they, at some point, felt the sting of it themselves.
It’s my personal belief that all abuse hurts a person spiritually. It’s not likely there will be physical abuse in a church setting, but there, abuse will occur at the very heart of our soul, sometimes driving us into self-condemnation, guilt over false accusations, shaking our spiritual beliefs, and foundation of our faith to the very core.
Our reaction to this may come first as shock, followed by anger and indignation. And soon after, if we are lucky enough to remove ourselves from the abusive situation, we may lapse into a feeling of rejection as we become isolated from former brethren.
My own personal journey through the pain of spiritual abuse was absolute bewilderment and a mind numbing core of hurt that pierced the deepest places in my heart. Even with Christ there to carry me though this, it was without doubt, one of the worse experiences of my life. How could I ever trust “church people” again, now that I knew the truth? Might they not all be like that? I isolated myself from churches, not wanting to take another chance at exposing my deepest feelings to those who were going to reject, falsely judge and hurt me.
My experience with spiritual abuse wasn’t an isolated incident that merely “hurt my feelings”. Instead, without going into details, it was a long, complex series of abuses that continued over a period of time, that finally culminated with a yet another betrayal, this time even more serious than the others. With this came the realization that I had to get out. The abuse was affecting me spiritually and emotionally, and there was no other choice but to leave. I couldn’t change anything by staying.
I went through this alone. There was no one to talk to about what happened. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so alone, betrayed, falsely accused, and rejected in my entire life. It’s very hard to describe the feelings I had. I’m not sure there are even adequate words. Maybe something close would be like when someone closest to you died, and there is at first shock and then the grieving process sets in after that, but even that doesn’t quite fit, because when I left the church where I was abused, the only one who I felt had died, was me. The ones who abused and condemned me wrongly, basically for their own false perceptions, went on, justifying themselves together, and continued on apparently oblivious to the havoc created in my life. (Only later, have I found there are many others who were going through, or had gone through a similar circumstance, but at the time, there wasn’t the ground swell rising up of voices on the Internet to expose this “best kept secret” going on in churches all across America). I felt like I was the only one.
So~
Next came the feelings of bitterness and resentment at those responsible for abusing me. This was a small church, so my betrayers had once been my closest friends. Well, at least some of them. The pastor was an enigma…at times he seemed compassionate and real, but most of the time he had a bully pulpit, and made a practice of calling out those who had committed what he felt were infractions in such a way that everyone knew who he was pointing his finger at. He had his little group of favorites, especially those who curried his favor and fawned over him. That wasn’t my style though and maybe he sensed that.
I knew in my heart what they did was wrong, and I also knew my resentment was wrong. I knew I needed to forgive, that I must forgive, but I didn’t know how I was going to be able to do that, the pain I felt went so deep.
Jesus said, unless we forgive others, our father can’t forgive us. That’s a big order sometimes. But unforgiveness is destructive, both on the offenders but also on the one that needs to extend forgiveness. I think this issue of unforgiveness is truly very misunderstood, but I think our own spiritual growth will be stunted if we fail to forgive and, instead, allow a root of bitterness to grow in our hearts and become twisted and ugly.
Think about that. If we allow our hearts to become cold and bitter, then Satan has won the round and we will end up more like those who abused us…hypocrites. I don’t want to be like that and neither do you. We need to keep short accounts with God so our prayers can get answered and so that we can move forward in our walk in the Spirit, leaving ugly emotions behind us. That is the victory over spiritual abuse.
It can be done, but only through much prayer and communion with Jesus in worship, asking for help and laying all burdens at the foot of the cross, for truly, we can do nothing without him.
Jesus bless all of you going through these struggles and I thank God who will give us the victory as we turn fully to him.
Since that time, many years ago, I have studied the phenomena of spiritual abuse in churches, in depth, inside and out, and from every angle. I know what makes it tick, and the games people play in church, all the way from the pulpit, to those in other “leadership” aspects of the church, all the way to those who sit in the pews. There is a pattern to these things, even from church to church, from one denomination to another, in one way or another. I have arrived at this from not any disconnected “psychological analysis”, but from personal experience with scripture and an intimate relationship with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who by His mercy and grace brought me out of it.
If you have been spiritually abused in a church, by the pastor, or another church member, or even the group. You may tell your personal story here, anonymously. Just post it under the comment section here and I will create a post from that, leaving out the parts you choose, (names, places, etc). Your privacy will be vigorously protected. E-mail addresses, personal names will never be released to others, nor will any other privately communicated information. If you would like to talk to me personally, send an e-mail to SpiritualAbuseSanctuary@hotmail.com. I will be glad to talk to you. Skype chats can also sometimes be arranged. I am not a psychologist, nor do I give medical advice, but I will be happy to listen to hurting people who have been through spiritually abusive situations in church, or in the home.
I believe the testimonies of these girls. Their stories deserve to be told, over and over if need be, until the perpetrators of such abuses get the message that their abuses against these girls will be shouted from the housetops, with them exposed and hopefully punished, and/or jailed, and then hopefully these types of crimes will cease to exist. I have a real problem with pastors, individuals, churches…..anyone…. who abuse other people in the name of God, and I will tell about it whenever I can. That’s what I love about the Internet…finally, these best kept secrets….. crimes done “in the name of God” are being exposed, and victims are coming forward to tell their stories and put the spotlight on the abusers.
Soon, I hope to do a post on similar abuses within so-called ministries for boys and men.
The following is a HUGE list of survivor statements and testimonies of the girls who’ve been in Hephzibah House, and I seriously doubt if this even begins to skim the surface:
Spiritual Abuse Sanctuary 