Porn-a Problem for Christian Men When Their Wife Doesn’t Want Sex

 

http://site.themarriagebed.com/problems/desire/spouse-wont-have-sex

 

First of all..husbands, (and wives), make a real effort to be sexually attractive to your spouse. Simple things like keeping up your appearance, making a real attempt at physical fitness by “not letting your body go”. Grooming and hygiene, make a real difference. Setting the mood is very important, especially with women. But men, as well, need to feel wanted and desired, and will be more apt to be attracted to his wife if she makes an effort to give some thought to her own personal appearance……. and if she makes time for him even before the kids are put to bed, (but especially afterward). Sexual desire has to be nurtured in a marriage, just like other aspects of the marriage relationship. I personally know a woman who is so verbally abused in her marriage that she finds it difficult to then, “turn on” when he wants to have sex.  C’mon! Whatever could he be thinking? She is not a Stepford wife. And by the same token, I can imagine many husbands to  feel the same way about nagging wives.

 

http://site.themarriagebed.com/problems/sin/the-problem-with-porn

“The Marriage Bed” seems to be a good resource for Christian couples seeking answers to spiritual questions concerning sex in marriage, and especially about porn addiction and how it affects the couples relationship with one another, as well as their walk with the LORD.

Be encouraged. Porn addiction can be overcome, just like any other besetting sin.

Porn can be a real problem for Christian men even when their wives DO want sex as much as they do. But, the issue really escalates when the wife may think that sex once a week or once a month is just something she is required  to do but doesn’t want to do , to either please, or just get along with her husband….. or to keep out of the divorce court. Let me tell you, this presents way more of a spiritual problem for the man, because in addition to having normal sexual desires for his wife, the sexual imagery bombarding him daily as he goes through his life is compounding his frustration. This soul-destroying filth is everywhere these days, as you already know, or you probably wouldn’t be on this page looking for answers.

Some women don’t seem to care if their husbands use pornography. If that is the case, I would have to seriously doubt whether these women love their husbands, not to mention whether or not they know the LORD and the fact that their husbands use of porn is not only adultery, it’s sin in God’s eyes.

One party inquired here was seeking deliverance by phone. Seriously! Perhaps because of a guilt or embarrassment factor, but let me assure you right now, instant deliverance over a telephone is not the way Jesus works. It’s gonna take more than that. I guess we might as well get into some discussions here on this blog, because I know the pain wives can go through when their husbands are bound by porn and the accompanying masturbation, as well as the sexual imagery that’s being brought into their marriage bed during those moments that should be of the most sacred and loving between a couple. To be blunt, porn has no business there ……operating in a husbands, (or wife’s) head during love making.You wanna talk about a deal breaking situation? It’s not only adultery, but it’s a sexual desire killer for some wives. That’s right husbands. You may be literally killing your wives sexual desire for you by your porn addiction, as well as destroying your walk with the LORD. Make no mistake, this is His Temple you are fooling around with.  How could any Christian think otherwise? And what did He say about those who defile His temple? 

I personally believe the key to overcoming is seeking a deeper walk with Jesus in the Power of the Holy Spirit. That’s where deliverance lay…coming up higher in Him.

I’m including the following link, with emphasis on the testimony by Desmond to show just how strong and disastrous this stronghold of porn addiction really is: http://www.testimonyshare.com/freedom-from-porn-addiction/

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One comment on “Porn-a Problem for Christian Men When Their Wife Doesn’t Want Sex

  1. Scarlett says:

    “Precipitating a Crisis/Ultimatums: Some spouses have saved their sex life (and marriage) by saying, “you deal with this or _____.” If the marriage is important to the refusing spouse, such an ultimatum may cause them to seek help or attempt to change. On the other hand, if the marriage is not important, or the reason they are avoiding sex is more important than the marriage or just too painful, an ultimatum can end the marriage. This is a last ditch effort and you should only resort to this after trying everything else, and praying a great deal. Do not make an ultimatum you don’t mean – if you won’t leave, or if you know it’s not okay with God for you to leave, then don’t say you will leave. If you can’t keep sharing a bed without sex, then tell your spouse that. If you are tired of pretending in front of others, explain what will happen if your spouse does nothing.

    In the final analysis, a marriage crippled by sexual refusal is a difficult issue with no easy or sure-fire answers. What works for one couple will not work for another. Some couples have gone so long that recovery would be a true miracle, and many couples never accomplish anything more than partial improvement. Change takes time, commitment, and a lot of prayer and energy. The one sure thing about sexual refusal, as with most problems, is that it only gets worse when it’s ignored.”

    Note: My thoughts…If a wife is deliberately avoiding sex, she is putting a spiritual and sexual stumbling block in front of her husband. This needs to be dealt with, period. On the other hand, if the husband is indulging in pornography, (adultery) and then expecting more sex from his wife because of it, then he is in the wrong by putting an unrealistic burden on his wife. Either way, it needs to be dealt with, because as the article says, if unattended to, it will not only lead to sexual sin, but spiritual sin, and get worse over a period of time.

    Is it a sin against God to end such a marriage? Personally, I don’t think so. Because…one of the most important aspects of marriage in the first place, is to keep both Christian men and their wives, OUT of sexual sin. To be trapped in a sexless, (or only once in a blue moon) sexual life in marriage, must be one of the most frustrating experiences ever.

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